Wow. What an exciting past few weeks.

These past few weeks, they have been...how can I say...intense?  It has almost been a month since I posted. Three weeks, three new women. I think that is fair? Ok. Go.

January 16-23

Typical blonde. I ran into her on the tunnelbana on the way home from a long night out. It is amazing how many women I pick up from this. I think its the environment; No club, no loud music, no random men hitting on them. Their guard is completely dropped. I forced her to translate the local news for me.  Setup a coffee date for the next day. Two days later setup a date for morning coffee and cartoons. We fcked. The end.

Oh wait, details:

The lay was miserable.  She got on top, and I swear, after two minutes of her moaning and grinding, she pissed all over me. I have never been with a 'squirter' persay, I have seen videos, and heard friends stories, but nothing from the frontline. It really threw me for a loop. How could I enjoy the moment when my cash n prizes were  being marinated with her juices? Hell no. Completely ruined it for me. And my sheets! There was a stain the size of a beachball. Thank you for the traumatizing experience and the extra trip to the laundry room.

January 24 - Feb 1.

I devoted this week to  old booty calls. Nothing too amazing. I am thinking of one word. Convenience. This week also established new prospects for the following weeks.  

Feb 1 - Feb 8

Eh. closed this girl from Iceland. We met at a event hosted by the University. She numbered closed me, and we hung out later that week. After her buying me TWO gin and tonics, and FOUR Jack N Cokes, I was ready to go. I don't remember much details. The lay was average, nothing special. Enjoyed being choked. She actually grabbed my hands, and made me squeeze tighter. Pierced vag, not much of a turn on. 

Feb 8 - Current.

I met this absolute nut at this event over the weekend. It was an annivesary party, that encompassed an old abandoned building, and included 13 different DJ's. It was from 10-4. I got there at 11, i left by 1. I met this stunning blonde girl talking on her cellphone. She looked like a blonde/asian mix, with these almond eyes, and long black eyelashes. (Which I realized later were fake, that lying bitch.) After talkingfor a few minutes, we started to kiss, and she bit my lip so hard it drew blood. The convo went as followed:

"Argh, you fuck, if you weren't in public, I'd slam your head into the fucking wall"

"Really? That is kinda hot."

"Then what are we wasting our time here for?"

And bam, we were off to my place. I really had no idea how sadistic this woman was. I am not a sick person, trust me. I  accomadate to the other persons needs. How I act is a direct reflection of the other persons fantasies. Here are some great quotes (by me) from the experience:

"Have you ever had a black eye?"

"It's going to be so great, destroying something so beautiful."

"I hope that heals."

"Please tell me that was a yelp of pain."

"I hope this won't break your arm."

Evidence is to the right. You can see from the pic the laptop power cable wrapped around her neck,  but unfortunately not my yellow rubber dishwashing gloves. Needless to say, it was quite the experience. On the downside, she would NOT leave. She stayed the entire night, and the next day seducing me. And to some men, it may seem like a delight, having sex, 4/5 times a day, but let me tell you, it's not. Maybe 3/4 times, but once you pass that, it is pure pain.

Eh, this weekend is coming up, and so is the fresh meat.

First time rule.

23 minutes.
That is all the attention I will devote to the woman the first time we have sex. Not including foreplay, but actual in/out thrusting. Why not more?

Ten minutes is too short.
Twenty, sounds good, but I am not a fan of even numbers.
Thirty,meh, too long, and I am out of shape.

It also solves the question:
Keep going?
Should I stop?
Is she enjoying it
Is she moaning because she really likes it, or is she trying to get me off.
I wonder what her head would look like on my dashboard.
Etc.

Twenty three minutes and done. Thats all a woman gets to get off the first time.
Didn't orgasm? Not my fault, ample time was given.
After that, comfort levels are usually dropped to something managable and I can get a good feel of what she is into. Maybe she likes to be smacked around and choked with a electric heating blanket cord? (details later) You never know.

Now, I will adjust accordingly. But when I am out of the loop with a complete random this rule has never failed me. Coincidently enough, I have a clock built into the bed of my headboard which leaves little room for error. If that fails, I always have the CD that is playing in the background. Once it hits track 7 I know it is time to start closing shop.

Slow week.

This week has been exceptionally slow. I have spent a majority of the time since I returned building a beautiful CV. 100% vector through Illustrator. I rule.

In addition to not smoking in 2008, I have also cut off all randoms of 2007. New year, new meat.
Saturday I went to Marie Lavou which was entertaining. Great crowd, but I just was not in the mood. I did have moment though:

When I got there, I noticed this brunette looking my way, so naturally I made eye contact and smiled. Her reaction, was to smile back and whisper to her friends, causing them all to look at me and smile. Now this must have gone on 3-4 times that night. Nervewracking to say the least. As I am leaving, I notice the brunette go up the stairs, and look back and smile. I follow in suit, to the coat rack, and begin talking to her.

"Hey, you leaving so soon?"
"Yeah, I have to get home."
"But it's so soon. Its 2, are you going to turn into a pumpkin?"
"Haha, maybe..."
"So do you have a name?"
"What...? You don't remember it?"

Then it hit me. I think I *do* know her.

[We fucked somewhere around September. She played dead fish during the entire act which conflicted with my preferred style of wild banshee. Though it was unenjoyable, I still went for two rounds. I figured I might as well get my moneys worth. What's more notable is the fact she wished me a great trip in Sweden before I left. I love being used.]

"Rebekkah?"
"Oh, so you do remember, I thought you were ignoring me the entire night."
    [No, I wasn't. But now that this mystery had been solved I was over it]
"Well, I don't really have to leave, so I am going back downstairs. Nice seeing you."

Since I arrived in Sweden, I average one new lay per week. It is odd that I did not remember her face, but it could be due to the fact her file is incomplete.: Oh yes, the file. A complete dossier and description of everyone I have had sex with. It helps me keep tabs and measure quality progression. Some of my earlier work is definitely of lesser quality than current.

The rest of the week I plan on distributing my CV.

Breakfast:: Two cups of water and a brownie
Lunch: 3 cups of coffee and Rice Pringles.
Dinner: Billies Pizza

Home

I am home.  Finally. Unfortunately, I was unable to come home to a woman in my bed. Because I was irresponsible, and lazy, my cellphone was turned off, and as a result, I was unable to call anyone.  The process to reconnect it asshat backwards.

I have come to the conclusion, that 2008, a New Year, should mean a fresh start. I have deleted all randoms out of my phone, and am starting clean.  Last night was the first night I have been out since I got home. 

We went out to a random bar that was a meat market.

I made the mistake of calling this girl 'hun', and she quickly responded with a threat of physical violence to my testicles if I did not apologize immediately. I was shocked by her reaction, and more surprised that she had enough self worth to stand up for herself. 

I came home empty handed, but I can not complain since I had a good time.

For breakfast I had a ananas-mango smoothie.

For lunch I had a two wheat crackers with butter.

For dinner I had a 7-11 brownie.

For dessert I had four Jack and Cokes.

That was fun

I am going home to Sweden in a few days. I had fun the past few weeks beating my brothers and making their lives miserable. Unfortunately, my trip resulted in zero interaction with the locals. I met this gorgeous 42 yr old Susan Surandon lookalike when I arrived but that amounted to nothing. Highlights of our conversation were as followed:

Bold = Me

You're so cute, you're like my son. Who is 20.
Thats cute, we can be like Demi and Ashton.

I wish I could go home with you right now

Hey, I am just asking to hang out, not to fuck.
I don't know how we can just hang out and not.

Don't try to talk dirty with me.
Oh I want to get dirty.

The woman, who we can refer to as a cougar/fox played elusive the entire week. Which was a bummer because it was something I really wanted to cross off my list.

Regardless, I had a great time. I am looking forward to coming home, seeing Gorgeous George and started Project FTOG.

The girl with the trumpet

So the girl I met earlier, Sarah, came over to seal the deal. We went on a date prior that week, but according to her, "I don't have sex on the first night." I find humour in this because, if a man is going to leave you, it doesn't matter how long you wait till you fuck him. He is as likely to leave after the first fuck as to the third. And after the first round with this woman, I definitely do no plan on having sex with her again.

Aesthetically she was appealing. Blond hair, blue eyes, and looked like she just came out of the Third Reich. Breasts small, maybe a handful, but lucky I am not a boob man. She had a nice figure, a pretty face, and as I said before, overall appeasing.

Unfortunately, the sex. Meh.

If it wasn't for the fact that she played dead fish that killed the mood, it was most definitely the noise that came from between her thighs resembling a small orchestra.

Now, I am forgiving to the female anatomy. I understand thrusting pushes air in and out, inflating your nether regions like a hot air balloon, but this was unacceptable. Every thrust I was constantly reminded with an outburst and a "I'm sorry" . If I had a nickel for every apology, I would have enough money to send you and your noisy vag to the gyno. Or maybe some American Idol tryouts, cuz that crotch can sing.

Logically, in a situation like this, I would switch to different positions to alleviate the problem, BUT NOTHING HELPED. I must have went through the entire Kama Sutra routine with her. Light/deep/fast/slow, no thrust was immune. Now this noise, to put it lightly, not only affected the whole routine, but I just could not get off. I mean, this womans cunt was doing more talking than both her and I were.

12.3 minutes. That's about how long I could take of it. Thanks to the wonderful world of contraceptives I faked it no problem. A meager groan was all I could muster. I did the classic roll and cover when we were done and promptly faked a deep sleep.

When we awoke the next morning, I did everything I could to avoid having the usual morning sex. I popped out of bed and hopped in front of the computer to do some reading.

"I can't believe you . There is a fully naked girl in your bed, and your reading....what is that....some website about electronics and gadgets?"

  "Damn right."

She promptly left after.

Girls with low self esteem that drink protein. I <3

I was at a party hosted by some art school Friday, called
Tokyo _____ and I had the greatest conversation on the dance floor. Me
and my buddy were dancing, pumping state, and he accidentally bumped
into this girl, and thats when the fun began:

Bold = Me

Oh sorry about that.
Don't worry. Where are you from?
Los Angeles.
Oh awesome, I love LA!
Lemme guess, where are you from....wait....Sweden??
Yeah, know, typical, blond hair, blue eyes, etc.
Well thats a bummer it will never work out between us
Why not.
Because I fucking hate blonde's.
Whatever. ( Continues Dancing)
And can you dance over there too? Your kind of embarassing me.
Yknow, with an attitude like that you will never bring home someone tonight.
Who said I wanted to bring anyone home.
I bet you don't, cuz your probably gay.
Yknow, if I had the choice between you or a man, I would probably be gay.
I am going upstairs for a cigarette, You want to join?(Delivered with
a charming smile)

Middle finger, Middle finger. I repeat the question. middle finger,
and a fuck you. I go upstairs to smoke and I pass by her as I am heading down.

Can I ask you something?
What, is this a serious question, or a sarcastic one because you are bitter?
Serious
Ok, shoot
Do you really think I am ugly?
No, why?
Cuz you were just really mean earlier.
It was called sarcasm. Imagine if we were in first grade, and I pushed you down on the playground because I liked you. Same thing. Actually, I think that was even a compliment what I said.

She chuckles.
[Hook. Motherfucking Line. And Sinker]


Well, lets start it over, Hi My name is xxxx how are you?
Great, Mine is Sara.
Yknow Sara, you have a adorable smile. The way it curls up at the
sides. Cute. Wait. I think that was ANOTHER compliment. Ok, your done, no more for the night.

In this situation, Swedish women, imho, hold themselves very high.
They think they are each unique snowflakes,are exceptionally
beautiful, and act accordingly. To hear, from an American, who has a
high value based on nationality, that she is unattractive AND unwanted
sends them haywire.
Hence why she followed me upstairs to confirm my thoughts on her looks.
And when she asked again, I told her the truth, and even labeled it as
a compliment per-say to validate her. I rewarded her with another
compliment about her smile to pump her ego.
She was happy to be accepted finally, and wanted to see me again. She
wanted to bounce with me, which was immediate gratification for her,
but I told her we should meet up later in the week. Now, some may
argue I should have taken her to the new venue or back to my place:

a. New venue, new women, more time to game. Didn't want to use the
girl as a pivot nor run any jealousy routines that could backfire and
leave me with nothing.
b. My place was too far at that hour.

Hence her coming over on Tuesday and making me dinner.
I win.